Conflict Avoidance In Relationships: What Is It And Why Does It Happen?

Partners may also simply avoid discussing a problem by quickly switching topics when the issue comes up or by being evasive. At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives. Assertiveness and boundaries are essential skills for managing conflict in any situation.

Don’t automatically object to your partner’s complaints.

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How do you deal with conflict in your relationship?

The point is to fix what’s not working, not antagonize or humiliate anyone. In the above example, you’ll probably have a better outcome if you say you’re asking for a favor that will make your life easier rather than making demands or ultimatums. We’ve all had a roommate, co-worker or someone else in our lives who tries to avoid confrontation by leaving notes with their complaints when we’re not around. This is unfair and frustrating because they’re making sure theirs is the only ‘voice’ that gets heard. The fact is that disagreements are a fundamental part of human interaction. Conflicts arise naturally from differing viewpoints, values, or knowledge bases.

Focus on good communication

Although knowing your own feelings may sound simple, many people ignore or try to sedate strong emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. Your ability to handle conflict, however, depends on being connected to these feelings. If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on finding solutions that are strictly rational, your ability to face and resolve differences will be limited. When you’re avoiding conflict, you’re essentially lying about your thoughts and feelings about something. Consciously or unconsciously, your partner picks up on this lie and knows something is off so don’t trust when you say everything is fine or refuse to discuss an issue. They learn that they can’t trust what you say and this leaks into other areas of the relationship.

Healthy and unhealthy ways of managing and resolving conflict

We have regular check-ups for our physical wellbeing, so why not for our relationship health? Without regular monitoring, we don’t know if we are doing things right or wrong for the relationship and avoiding unnecessary conflict. Tell them that to achieve a win–win outcome from conflicts, they need to commit to the mindset that they want to reach satisfactory results from all aspects of their relationship. Clear, open, and complete dialogue is crucial to a successful relationship and reducing conflict. Conflict is often unavoidable and sometimes outside of our control.

Tap into your empathy to understand what the other person needs at the moment, and your emotional regulation skills to gain your equilibrium after the confrontation. Remember, the goal isn’t always to win a disagreement but to broaden our understanding and strengthen relationships, even with those who hold different views. For instance, when you and a friend have a heated discussion about politics, pause and then respond, “This is a complex issue. We might not agree, but I’d be interested in understanding your viewpoint better.” This invites dialogue and shows openness to growth, even if you don’t agree.

Also, the ideal timing and the best language choice for addressing an issue varies from couple to couple and from issue to issue. Nevertheless, there are some best practices to keep in mind when communicating with your partner. For more minor problems or instances when both couples aren’t able to change, confrontation involving affection and validation showed to be most effective for resolving conflict.

• However, you can practice exposure therapy on your own as part of a self-help plan.
• Before confronting someone, try examining and questioning your feelings.
• It’s very important to stand up to bullies, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Be patient and once you find the time when the answers to these questions are yes, this is the time to speak. Rather than endlessly ruminate and allow conflicts to fester in your head, try taking a more assertive approach. The below tips can help you deal with an issue more assertively. How you manage conflict in a relationship how to deal with someone who avoids conflict can impact family dynamics, happiness levels, and even your physical and mental well-being. Disagreements can cause significant stress, so it tends to be best to find ways to communicate with one another about the issue instead of letting a problem fester. Thinking of problems as challenges is a great cognitive reframe.

Conflict Avoidance Doesn’t Do You Any Favors

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• It is about taking care of your own needs and wants while considering the needs and wants of others.
• To navigate it, it’s crucial to understand why it arises and your options for resolving it.
• One of the most common characteristics of confrontational and hostile individuals is that they project their aggression to push your buttons and keep you off balance.
• Read on to discover ways to overcome your fear of conflict with exposure therapy that you can practice on your own.